1. |
Skinny Santa
04:41
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last year i was
a mustard gassing spinster
now i'm just
a liberal art school hipster
i'll be your skinny santa claus
i'll give you menopause
decoratively wrapped in gauze
cause i think you are pretty
when you are gaunt
you know it puts me in the mood to haunt
when i feel like a goblin
who stays in all night
on halloween
on halloween
on halloween
you know the world
it is a scary place/it is a hairy place
that's why i hide
behind a tortoise horn-rimmed face
now i'm walking on them suicidal planks
across them aquarium fish tanks
cause i'm not soulless
but i am
a lost soul on a pedestal in hell
and i feel like chain smoking
and whiskey choking
and i think i am choking
and i think i am choking
i tried my best
to get by
but the world is
such a sigh
cause most people
make me want to die
yeah you people
make me want to die
i'll be your skinny santa claus
i'll give you menopause
decoratively wrapped in gauze
cause i think you are pretty
when you are gaunt
you know it puts me in the mood to haunt
when i feel like a goblin
who stays in all night
on halloween
on halloween
on halloween
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2. |
No Hit Wonder
03:18
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looks like i better kill myself at 30
because no one likes a 40 year old with a guitar
and now i'm getting used to masturbation
because no girl wants to be the subject of my sad songs
so i accept indie rock failure
because i'm not good enough
to be a one hit wonder
the tristate queen just moved to martha's ville
and she's got this cute freckle
though i'm told it's a mole
i heard her voice on the phone tonight
and she was sounding apathetic
i was feeling pathetic
cause i admit i still think of her often
but i'm not a one-trick pony
no, i'm more of a donkey
earthquaking
heartbreaking
life if such a pity, kitty
brain melting
song belting
just one more itty bitty ditty
the scumbag kids just took the cars for ransom
cause their ain't no place to park
at the shopping mall
i'm flipping burgers
and i got the shakes
cause the colonel and the clown just had their morals sedated
well, i can see for miles
but i'm still too afraid
to flip that dial
grave digging
vote rigging
god is such a silly nilly
gun loving
truck fucking
don't be such a hilly billy
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3. |
Love Song for Boba Fett
03:40
|
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missed connection
cause I missed your call
two points
will never make a triangle
from romantic disasters
that get blown out of proportion
to stratocasters
with that grueling distortion
my glass is always half empty
but punk rock gives me plenty
even though they all said that we'd be dead by 20
and now i'm one score and seven
but so far from heaven
so i'd rather be a corpse
than a boregasmic kevin
when i look in your eyes
i could freeze, i could die
like the end of empire
in carbonite by a gun for hire
i blow chunks every morning
my lungs are black and abhorring
in this temple of filth, there's no room for adoring
i get medicinal headaches
but pot helps me think straight
so won't you be my match
the one who lights me up
when i look in your eyes
i could freeze, i could die
like the end of empire
in carbonite by a gun for hire
my grandfather's cancer
and seductive dancers
both scare the shit out of me
and love is so stupid
so fuck you cupid
you know you shot me again
so here's a song for megan
i was drunk and high
on the night he died
and she asked why
as we both cried
i said i hate myself
and i hate this song
so i think it's time
to pack a bong
cause i got no money
and i got no thing
sometimes i wish
that i could sing
i need some love
i need a girl
but the thought of sex
just makes me hurl
yeah
it makes me hurl
yeah
it makes me hurl
yeah
it makes me hurl
yeah
it makes me hurl
it makes me hurl
for you
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4. |
Too Punk Rock for Love
02:30
|
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the universe pays me
to drink and play sad songs
i'm done over thinking
and over smoking bongs
and i'd like to be happy
i'd like to be sober
but then i'm afraid
god would put me on welfare
cause i just want to pour my heart out
into the hole in your soul
cause you can never be
too punk rock to fall in love
but you can be too in love to be a punk
yeah, you can be too in love to be a punk
i got a heavy metal mouth
but my heart is in pop songs
i got a johnny rotten temper
can i please take you to supper
we could slow dance to nirvana
in your bedroom with the door locked
and i swear i'll suck it up
but i won't ever choke it down
cause i just want to pour my heart out
into the hole in your soul
cause you can never be
too punk rock to fall in love
but you can be too in love to be a punk
yeah, you can be too in love to be a punk
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5. |
Catch Up to Me
03:31
|
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i found your hair on an old sweater
i haven't worn since last semester
i think everyone looks like you
from a certain distance
now i'm trying to stay happy
but i still get turned on
when you call me to hang out
on a week night
but i will not fall behind for you
i will
simply let you catch up to me
i miss your kiss, i miss your fits
sometimes i wish you'd just pop my zits
i hate vegetables
but i like it when you feed them to me
no i'm trying to stay healthy
but i still get turned on
when i watch you smoke
your camel extra-wide filtered cigarettes
but i will not fall behind for you
i will
simply let you catch up to me
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